Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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