end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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