i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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