I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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