How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Nicole vs. Life
dude i'm inner monologue high
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
