so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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