If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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