I seem to have left my pride at pride
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
