I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
