Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
