Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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