ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i came on her dog
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Randomize
