Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
