And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
