literally had 100 drinks last night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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