so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
