Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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