She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
