Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
