i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
