bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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