I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
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