Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
