Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
