Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
