woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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