whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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