i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
