I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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