at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
