I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
