overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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