Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
