I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
