there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
