just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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