Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
