I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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