It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
