I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
