I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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