that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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