They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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