so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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