I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
