he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
