I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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