i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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