Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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