I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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